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"Gerry, whenlittle Briggie here was seven or so, Ginny and Mike had a hell of arow. Ginny couldn't have kids of her own and Mike was consumed withwork and it all just blew up. I was riding in a car with him then. Mikestomped out, got stinking drunk for the first time in years and endedup with your Mom, who thought he walked on water. She coaxed him backto Ginny after two days, but not before you were started."Your Mom insisted Mike go back to his family and Mike wanted to do theright thing, but he knew Ginny would break down if she knew about you.She was already sick back then. So he got some cash and set your Mom upout on Long Island, keeping tabs on you as best he could. When Ginnygot real bad, he needed the money for treatments the insurance wouldn'tcover. I was with him then, the choices were crushing the man. Your Momtold him to forget it and save Ginny. So she came back here and did thebest she could for you." Billy looked at Gerry, waiting for a reaction."So Mike was my Dad.. Your hands and body soothe and comfort me like no other, but perhaps, I could find the aggression I crave elsewhere.As a mistress, I know I should not feel guilt about sexual cravings. After all, you live with your wife, why shouldn’t I have someone else to keep as a constant when I can’t have you? I honestly don’t even think you would be jealous. Maybe internally you would struggle, but outwardly you would only show me the same calm cool response that I have come to know and hate. How can we be passionate with each other if you refuse to show emotions?I want to meet you somewhere and run to you, like you’ve been gone for half my life and I’m seeing you again for the first time. Like a soldier returning from war, I would run to you. Jump into your arms and lose myself in tears, kisses, and the strength of your arms. Hear you growl and feel your need for me. But this won’t ever happen. Only dreams, nothing more. Because we won’t ever let ourselves loose.The realities of our situation.
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